My Mouth: A "Duh" Leak On My Face

I'm going to start with some lyrics here:

"Been a bad day, don't talk to me, going to ride this out. My black heart, rips apart, with your big mouth. I'm sick, with my sickness, don't touch me... You'll get this. I'm useless, lazy, perverted, and you hate me."

I don't know what it is about today, but I'm just way, way down. Started off by waking up 15 minutes after my alarm should have gone off had I remembered to set it... Wound up saying nothing but the wrong things all through my first class. Got my first English essay back... And I wasn't too stoked on the subject I'd picked, so it's not too surprising it didn't come out as well as it needed to... But I make a frickin' LOT more errors in my writing than I thought I had.

That one sucks 'cause I figured English would be my strong subject by miles. My Dad was an English teacher, so I always had the stuff beat into my face. Turns out a decade of spewing words on my own terms has me pretty deeply sunk into some bad habits. Not sure why it's such a blow to the ego to get the outcome I'd expected... But it's probably a snowball effect.

On top of all that, I've finally hit a wall in my math class which has been my strong subject so far. I call what we're learning "math semantics" as it's about sorting through 100 parenthesis, 247 minus signs, and x to the power of a billion... I don't know why I have such a hard time keeping track of all the rules in play, but I'm starting to fall a bit behind.

Couple education with romance, and I'm just not looking at things from a very positive perspective. I'm WAY too sprung on the girl I'm seeing, and if I don't scare her off, I get the persuasion she's not after the kind of relationship I am anyway. Pessimism is a pretty staple trait of my love life, so this is far from unusual.

I need to accomplish something other than coming home and immediately turning to my vices. It's my first day not seeing the young lady in question since our first date, so I think I'm just going to go bury my face in a book and strum on my guitar a bit.

Sorry for the scattered thoughts today. My head's just a bit of a mess and this is the best way I could think of to sort it out.

I'll try to be back to my normal state soon. Ta-ta for now.